Friday, 26 February 2021

February full moon esbat - rekinding old circles

Last night saw an old circle come together. Some years ago I used to circle fairly frequently with two friends and we had a rather good group egregore built up. Perfect love and perfect trust. We would be able to do ritual without anyone leading or giving hints for what to do next. Our rituals were smooth and seamless. It has been years but last night we got together once more in order to celebrate esbat. 



An empty room was methodically transformed into a ritual space: tables carried, altar set, candles and incense lit. As calm music filled the room we commenced the ritual with a triple cleansing. Casting the circle and quarter calls were combined in one, the three of us working in unison. As the gods were called, the room changed. Suddenly there was warmth, golden light, power. 

Everything flowed as if we were working with one mind. We performed our work, toasted to the gods and allowed inspiration to guide us. It was magical to say the least. And although it might not have gone as seamlessly as it used to, we knew that we had not forgotten. We still had the feel for working ritual together, as we used to. 

Afterward we sat and talked, going through what we had done and commenting on what worked and what we might improve. We talked about possibilities and inspiration for future rituals, for how we might work and what we might experiment with. 

The empty room turned ritual chamber is empty once more, but with the promise of new and engaging rituals.

~Stella

Monday, 22 February 2021

Thoughts on playfulness and ritual

I remember my school days, when at the end of the school year we would have a service at the local church and our teachers would keep an eye on us and place all the rowdiest pupils in the front rows. Any misbehaviour would be punished. When we went to church with my family it was the same: you had to sit quietly in your seat and pay attention, dress neatly and be at your best behaviour. Going to church was a boring event, yet stressful because of fear of doing something wrong and having everyone stare at you.

When I started getting into Wicca and performing Wiccan rituals, I had to face these past experiences. Even today, when I have been Wiccan for a larger part of my life than I was Christian, I still remember and confront these past experiences: the gravity of going to church, the kneeling at the altar, the submission to a higher power that might judge you for accidentally farting during service. When one comes from this tradition, how does one move on from it?

***

My first rituals were quiet and still. I lived with my parents who did not tolerate deviation from their Christian tradition. They were by no means fundamentalists, in fact they were quite secular. However, they had grown up Christian and knew nothing else. Add to the fact that at this time Finland had just had its share of the satanic panic, so anything deviating from the safety of Christianity and tradition was scary to them. 

So I set up small altars that would not draw too much attention, I told them not to disturb me because I wanted to meditate. And so I sat down in my small room, in front of the few ritual objects I owned (a rock, a seashell, a feather, a red candle and some incense) and I performed my rituals sitting there, while visualising myself performing circlecastings, quartercalls, communing with the gods, etc. 

My rituals were almost as quiet as my church visits, if not even more so. I had no hymns to sing, not that I could have sung them anyway, and no space to move. When I moved away from home a few years later and got my own apartment, I finally had space to perform rituals and no one to hear me. But breaking out of the quiet shell during ritual was difficult. I had no problem doing so outdoors, but indoors was problematic.

Today I still reflect on this difficulty because it is still present, especially when I do solo rituals. During group work it is easier to speak out loud, to move, but sometimes it feels silly and pointless to do it by myself. At those times I remind myself that I do this for my gods, not for anyone else to see and that usually helps. I have also noticed that the more I do it, the easier it gets. At times in my life when I have had less time to perform ritual, they also tend to be more quiet when I start again.

Rituals can be breath-taking and demand silence, like this early morning view that I woke up to last summer.

But what about playfulness? What does it have to do with ritual? I will get into how I personally approach playfulness in ritual shortly, but let me first make a few notes about playfulness and ritual in general. As a theologian one of my interests of study has been ritual theory. I also study games, and there is a peculiar overlap between ritual theory and game theory regarding playfulness, or what might otherwise be called a ritual mindset.

To phrase it as concisely as I can: In order to enter a ritual or a game, the participant has to be willing to engage with a ritual mindset, a certain playfulness. This entails a willingness to submit to the rules of the game or ritual, as these are governed by other laws than those of the mundane world. When we enter a game we accept the reality of the game and the rules it entails. At the same time we leave behind our mundane selves and commit to a role in the game. When playing chess it really doesn't mater if you are a lawyer of a nurse in real life. For the sake of the game you are equal players. Likewise, when we enter ritual, eg. the Wiccan circle, our mundane lives, social positions and status give way to our roles as participants in a ritual. Once we exit the ritual or game, our lives return to normal.

In order for this process to work, for us to be able to enter the liminal space of ritual, the world between worlds, we need a certain kind of playfulness. We need to accept that the ritual reality is needed. To achieve this we might use certain symbols to trigger this response: we decorate an altar with special tools, we light candles and incense to set the mood, we wear jewellery specifically dedicated for ritual use. We set the mood, and we set our minds. And through this, we are able to experience ritual in a completely different way than without preparation.

I have sometimes wondered if this preparation is what has made Wiccan rituals so powerful for me? Compared to those church-visits where everything seemed boring and non-engaging, would they have felt different if we had prepared for them? I remember my confirmation: There was preparation, there was the wearing of robes and memorising of verses. I looked forward to it, but I still felt like I was being watched and judged. Maybe I could blame our church leaders? I'm not sure.


Rituals can also function as doorways
to other worlds and new perspectives on
life, philosophy and other things.
I said I was going to talk about how I approach playfulness in ritual. In the beginning when I could have ritual without the fear of parents walking in on me, I had to force myself to not make my rituals less "grave", like the church services I was used to. It took some time to come out of my shell, and it was always easier to do outdoors.

Ten years ago I got together with some other Wiccan friends. None of us had really performed ritual together with others before, at least not in a group. All of us came from similar backgrounds so we had some quite extensive discussions on ritual and how we wanted it to feel. This was extremely valuable to me, as I learned that it was no big deal if one stumbles a little on the words, or if mead is spilled on oneself while drinking. Or that laughter is a wonderful addition to ritual.

Since then I have tried to keep these things in mind and to not bee too serious in ritual. I mean, of course rituals are serious business, but that does not rule out that they can be fun. In fact, they should be. In the words of Doreen Valiente:

"Let there be reverance and mirth within you."

Those words are from the Charge of the Goddess and they ring true for everyday practice as well as for ritual.


~Stella

PS: A really interesting and fun way that I have found for dealing with my past church-experiences within Wiccan ritual, is to sometimes chant or intonate (in Swedish: mässa) certain parts of ritual. If you haven't tried it you should. It feels super ritualistic and works well. And it can lend a special feel to group rituals. 



Sunday, 14 February 2021

Reconstructing some parts of the blog

I am currently working on reconstruction some parts of the blog pages, in particular the Resources section. It has grown beyond it's original scope and needs a proper restructuring. I intend to add a lot more resource links to the blog and expand the literature section, but the current format does not work the way I intended and is hard to navigate. Thus I am am trying to figure out a way to make things more manageable.

Simply adding books on random would be easy, but I like to keep a curated list of books I have actually read or know to be good. Quality before quantity is what I am aiming for in all I do, and I will keep to this as I expand the resource section of the blog.

With that said, I will not take down the pages while I work on restructuring them. Thus they might look a bit chaotic for an unforeseeable future, but they will get into shape soon enough. 

While you wait, why not listen to the latest episode of Druidcast, episode 166, where Damh the Bard interviews Einar Selvig of Wardruna? 


Blessed be,
~Stella

Friday, 22 January 2021

Sabbats and moons of 2021

At the end of the dying year or the beginning of the new one I usually make a list of the new years full moons and sabbats. In my calendar (on my part this is a bullet journal) I also mark the other phases of the moon. Last year I marked these in an elaborate circle chart. This year gets a much simpler approach with a neat lists.

This year we get 12 full moons and 12 new moons. I think it also looks like many of the full moons fall quite close to the sabbats.


January

Last quarter: 6.1

New moon: 13.1

1st quarter: 20.1

Full moon: 28.1

February

Imbolc: 1.2

Last quarter: 4.2

New moon: 11.2

1st quarter: 19.2

Full moon: 27.2

March

Last quarter: 6.3 

New moon: 13.3

Ostara / Spring equinox: 20.3

1st quarter: 21.3

Full moon: 28.3

April

Last quarter: 4.4

New moon: 12.4

1st quarter: 20.4

Full moon: 27.4

Walpurgis nacht: 30.4

May

Beltane: 1.5

Last quarter: 3.5

New moon: 11.5

1st quarter: 19.5

Full moon: 26.5 (lunar eclipse)

June

Last quarter: 2.6

New moon: 10.6

1st quarter: 18.6

Litha / summer solstice: 21.6

Full moon: 24.6

July

Last quarter: 1.7

New moon: 10.7

1st quarter: 17.7

Full moon: 24.7

Last quarter: 31.7

August

Lughnasadh: 1.8

New moon: 8.8

1st quarter: 15.8

Full moon: 22.8

Last quarter: 30.8

September

New moon: 7.9

1st quarter: 13.9

Full moon: 20.9

Autumn equinox: 22.9

Last quarter: 29.9

October

New moon: 6.10

1st quarter: 13.10

Full moon: 20.10

Last quarter: 28.10

Samhain: 31.10

November

New moon: 4.11

1st quarter: 11.11

Full moon: 19.11 (lunar eclipse)

Last quarter: 27.11

December

New moon: 4.12

1st quarter: 11.12

Full moon: 19.12

Yule / Winter solstice: 21.12

Last quarter: 27.12



Source: https://kalender-365.de/kuukalenteri.php 

Tuesday, 1 December 2020

Building community

As the pandemic has spread and affected almost every aspect of our lives during the past year, and as we have struggled to adjust to a life of lockdowns and not being able to meet up with our friends, ritual groups or covens, as events have been cancelled and we have been forced to socially distance and isolate ourselves in order to protect each other, life has become much different this year than expected. And while it certainly has been very challenging at times, even painful, I am once again astounded by how we can build community.

As the pandemic hit Finland I was about a month away from hosting a pagan retreat. First we postponed the event, then we had to cancel it completely. I cannot deny that I cried a little as a lot of hard work and many emotions had been put into this event. However, me and my co-organizer, Fenris, were determined to not give up on the project and we moved parts of the programme online, to a two day zoom-conference. We advertised it among our small Fenno-Swedish community but also in Finnish-speaking groups on FB. We also contacted a coven leader in Sweden about hosting a program item during the seminar. 

The result was interesting. Not only did we have a guest from Sweden participating, but we also had other Finnish pagans participate who had not previously attended our moots or participated much in our discussions. As a result of this diverse group meeting, we started hosting moots online. The Helsinki based Finnish moots also moved online during the same time and I decided to start joining them. This turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made in a long while.

From the Finnish moots was born the idea for an international panel discussion after which some countries hosted their own online moots. I decided to join the Swedish moot, just to see what kind of people were around there. This moot, once more, sparked a whole new series of moots, and since may there have been monthly online moots on Zoom that bring together Swedes and Fenno-Swedes on a regular basis. And these are no mere pub moots.

This was my calendar for Samhain 2019 to Samhain 2020. 
2021 will see its own version.

Tonight, on the full moon, we had the seventh moot in the form of a panel discussion about solitary contra open circle contra coven work in Wicca. I participated as one of the panelists, representing a solitary, eclectic side. The discussions were very interesting and thought provoking, but what stuck with me was the sense of community that these moots have created.

And that is why I am writing down these thoughts. Because although the pandemic has had a huge impact on life, especially social life, it has given me the opportunity to form new connections, to network like never before, and to build communities that I would never have though possible. If a year ago you would have said that this spring I would be giving lectures about the Witches' Pyramid of participating in panels about how to practice Wicca in different kinds of group modes, then I would have said you were jesting. But here we are.

I marvel at the possibilities that have arisen from the dire situation that we are in, and it gives me hope and warms my heart to think that although life this year did not turn out as we would have hoped or imagined, we can still find the good things and create and build positive community.

I hate many things about this year, but I love the good things it has brought into my life.


Blessed be!

~Stella

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

Out in the woods

The weather was absolutely beautiful today, so I decided to go for a walk in the woods. Oh, and I now also have a Youtube channel. ;)





Enjoy!

~Stella

Thursday, 2 April 2020

Forming new routines

Inspired by Fenris' post about forming new routines, I feel compelled to write a bit about my own. No one has escaped this crisis (except maybe some nuclear submachine crews who might spend months under the surface), and where I live we are advised to avoid meeting people, gatherings of more than 10 people have been prohibited, and one region of the country is closed off.

I myself have been laid off work (luckily I did not loose that much money because of it since it is a few-hours-a-week job, but it still feels bad) and as schools and universities have closed and transformed all education to distance-learning, my schedule has opened up a surprising lot. Now, I do count this as a blessing, but it has come with its challenges.

Teatime is always at two o'clock!
First off, when libraries and restaurants are closing I can no longer go out of my house to study. I like going to other places because then I don't have my home life distracting me. I also don't have many lectures, and the ones I have happen to be on the same day, just right after each other, once a week. So building some kind of consistent routines from this very open framework has been surprisingly difficult for me.

I know that I am most productive during the hours after I have just woken up (between six and seven in the morning). So I have now started placing articles and other school material next to my bed so that I may reach for them before getting up (I know, really good sleep hygiene right there, not).

Another thing I have struggled with is eating regularly. I know exactly what happens if I go too long without eating. I usually don't get hungry before it is too late and my blood sugar drops, causing dizziness and grumpiness. So I have started implementing a schedule for eating, mostly focusing on breakfast, lunch and dinner, with snacks in between if necessary. I keep a meal planner on the side of my fridge. It helps me plan my meals and manage what food items need to be consumed before they go bad.


I have also tried to go to bed earlier, at the latest around the time I am  now writing this blog. And since there is a lot going on right now with trying to manage the situation and keeping in touch with friends and family, I will also start to implement an even stronger and firmer evening routine. I have thus far tried to read at least on chapter of a book before going to sleep (before penning these thoughts I just finished Thorn Mooney's Traditional Wicca). Now I will try to couple that with meditation before sleep.

New routines form as we adjust to the situations that arise around us. We are humans and we are adaptable, even in the face of a pandemic. We will come out of this at some point, hopefully having learnt some life lessons. And remember: This too shall pass.

Blessed be!
~Stella